“Once relationships between neighbors turn nasty, they are extremely difficult to untangle and the problems frequently become worse.”
When our neighbors moved in 3 years ago, they asked us if we planned on moving. Humm, weird question, "No." Now, looking back and oddly remembering their question, we wonder why they were asking. They would open the door and have their then 5 year old and 2 year old kids run over into our yard to play on our new playset and with our then 2 year old Alivia. The mom or dad would run in to do something, and oddly never return, leaving me alone or Chris and I alone with our 2 year old Alivia, 2 week old Addison, and their 2 kids. Lovely. It got to the point where I would close the blinds so that Alivia would not want to go out and play because I was just too tired to babysit all night, or I would elect to walk up the hill to our neighborhood park where we could just be alone! But, 90% of the time, we would let all the kids play and we would babysit.
Chris and I are pretty private people. Does that make us mean? Well, I guess to some people yes.
The following summer, now 2007, I caved and let Chris get a fence. I never wanted one. Chris wanted it for safely reasons. I now wanted one so we could go into the yard without having the entire neighborhood to babysit (we now had one other neighborhood kid as well). So, we forked out a few thousand dollars for a fence. Mind you, the new neighbors had mentioned that they wanted a fence because they wanted a dog. However, they were waiting for us to get one (so they could just get one for free). So, one would wonder, were they being annoying so we would buy their fence?
Anyway, Chris measured out the lines for the fence, flagged in, and had the neighbors agree to where it would be placed. They were fine with it. Then, the fence was installed and all hell broke lose! NOTE: ALWAYS PAY THE EXTRA MONEY TO HAVE THE LEGAL LINED FLAGGED! They then protested where the fence was and threatened us to tear it down. The fence was like 4 inches on their lawn in the back and like 6 inches inside their line in the front. Oh please...go right ahead, tear it down, but you are putting up the next one. At this point, they really needed one because they had already gotten their dog! In the meantime, they put up a bright orange snow fence to keep the dog in their yard (instead of buying a gate to their house which would have been free if they would have just been nice to us or asked to attach to the fence). I told a neighbor/friend out of fury that OVER MY DEAD BODY WILL I BUY THEM A GATE! I was mad, because afterall, we did just put in $2200 for just their side of the fence! Well, my "friend"/neighbor who was Addison's Godmother, told these new neighbors what I said - just causing fuel to an already growing fire. I also, emailed our association over the bright orange fence, which made them even more mad (we were not on speaking terms with the neighbors or I would have talked to them. But after the Mr Neighbors scary behavior, I was not going to tell them anything!). But, they thought Chris had done this. So, Mr Neighbor FREAKED OUT on Chris. Okay, if you know Chris, he is a quiet, calm man on most occasions and does not deal with this kinda crap.
Nice Chris was now done. He had mowed/shoveled out friend/neighbor's lawn/walks for free most the years leading up to this (the snitch neighbor that is). He was done with her, too. I am not so sure Chris and the neighbors have spoken since actually. (The New neighbor now mows her lawn and shovels for our old "friend" and she pays him). I, on the other hand, have done some things to try to fix the problem. I have apologized for any misunderstandings, annoyances. I have baked for them. I have "Loved the Neighbor" to actually overloved them two Lents with No Love given back (some people are just not lovable). On the other hand, the neighbors have been more or less malicious. They have turned the entire street against us. We were not close friends with any of them previously, but we were friendly. Those same people jumped up and down in the street, clapped, and sat around gossiping about us after we put our FSBO sign in the yard. Needless to say, having neighbors may be one of the main factors in our wanting to move. We want peace at home if anywhere. I can go to a dark alley and get treated better than I do around here!
This is what we are dealing with and how to fix it, I guess, since moving does not appear to be our answer:
"Things got off on the wrong foot from the day you moved in, and it's been downhill from there. Whenever you reach out to them, you just wind up mad at yourself for bothering to make the effort."
"How to Handle 'Em: Sadly, there are some people who simply weren't meant to be your pals. If they're malicious or doing something illegal, report it. Otherwise, make all interactions brief and civil and be glad you get along better with your other neighbors." Unfortunately, they have made it so very few people on our street will even wave at us!
So, let's just hope their little boy is not in Alivia's Kindergarten class or Alivia gets into private school!
Here's to Loving The Neighbor!
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