Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Answered Prayers

A couple months ago, Chris Googled (yes, he googled), "Why prayers go unanswered."

The reasons, according to google (and the website he found) were
1. Sin
``But your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden his face from you, so that he will not hear'' (Isaiah 59:2 NIV)
2. Unforgiveness
"If you have unforgiveness in your heart then God cannot answer your prayers. "
3. Lack of persistence
"The best gifts of heaven are reserved for those who persist in prayer."
4. Doubt
"Many others ask but doubt while asking. Such doubts destroy your ability to receive answers to prayer. "
5. Wrong Motives
"God searches the heart2. He understands every motive behind our thoughts. Therefore He refuses to answer prayers that have wrong motives. "
6. Not Praying According to God's Will
"Therefore seek to pray according to God's will. If there comes a struggle between your desires and God's will ask God to give you grace to accept His will. Then pray for His will to be done"
7. Not Listening to Godly Counsel
"You also need to note that disobedience to God is a direct result of not listening to Him. Therefore check your life to find out if there is any disobedience in your life. If you find it, confess it and come back to the path of obedience"

Chris has been struggling with his unhappiness with his job for nearly 4 years, worsening in the last year and a half, getting to its worst point this spring to summer when he bailed from the Florida contract (and he bailed WAY too late!). He applied to many jobs and had a handful of interviews, often times getting to the third and final interview, all to miss the opportunity to another "more suitable" candidate. What does that mean anyway?

Growing in frustration and becoming more depressed about his situation, pressure mounting, Chris googled why God was not listening. I don't believe Google helped Chris, as one really never knows why prayers go unanswered. Perhaps Chris was not knocking on His door enough (not persistent) or Chris had the wrong motives. Who knows. As the Garth Brooks song goes, "Some of God's Greatest Gifts are unanswered prayers." Sometimes.

Last week, Chris finally got his prayer answered. He was offered a job at a new company in Omaha. His new title will be a UX designer (the title Chris wanted), a change over the software engineer title he had had since college (although he did many things outside of that title). He is beyond thrilled with a little apprehension since his job now has been his only job since college. But, it is not in Des Moines or in Florida. We do not have to move (boo hoo on the Florida move though. But, I could live without sink holes I suppose).

We are thankful that this prayer was answered, however long we had to wait. :) On September 16, I will be praying for Chris as he leaves for his first day of work. Good luck!

Home Alone

The kids have been in school a week now.

It is quiet at home. WAY TOO QUIET.

It is just Pippa and I most days. I do not like Pippa (she STILL poops in our house at least once a week!).

I have kept busy, don't get me wrong, but it is not fun busy. I have been cleaning, trying to keep up on laundry, and trying to show Chris that I am not just sitting around all day eating bonbons. I have a list of to do's that I have been putting off for the day when our babies were all in school, that day I have been dreading for years. That day is the list should probably be looked at. Things like restain the playset (I just did this a year ago spring and it looks like crap already!), restain the outdoor shutters, organize the kids rooms, touch up interior paint, etc, etc).

This week I worked Sunday, Monday and Tuesday nights (meaning I slept Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday until I had to wake to pick up the kids from school). Chris and I are adjusting to me not working weekends anymore and working strictly during the week. Chris, for the first time EVER (And Alivia is in the fourth grade), had to get the kids up and ready for school as well as get himself ready for work. I do not like not being the one to take them to school. I feel like I hardly see them. Chris said this morning he about had a heart attack getting everything and everyone ready to go (and then forgot about the dog and she pooped inside!). So, needless to say, we are all adjusting and not really liking it. We will get used to it as my new schedule is either Monday-Wednesday nights every other week and I will pick up one night MAYBE on the off week or Sunday-Tuesday night every other week. I'm scheduled for 6 shift a month right now (8 hour shifts) with an extra thrown in there for the time being. Chris is not going to be available to watch the kids in the morning times in about a month, so I probably won't be picking up too many extra shifts. We will see, though.

On the days I am not working, I try to stay busy and my mind focused on other things so I am not all tearful about missing them. I miss Asher mostly since he is the one that did everything with me last year. I am no longer going to the zoo or the children's museum. I am going to Target, but nobody is with me to ask if they can go to the Bakery for the free cookie. I go to Costco, but Asher is not there to get a hotdog or share a lemonade with me. There is no hand to hold as I walk away from taking the kids to school in the mornings, or give hugs to all day long. I tried to catch up on the photo book for 2012 (yep, I am that behind), but I was in tears so stopped. I was sobbing I missed the kids so much. In the book, Asher was not even in preschool yet. Where does the time go? I want to go back and hug him even more.

Writing this blog is giving me a huge lump in my throat!

It's quiet. Too quiet. I am not sure I want to adjust to this. But, with time, I am sure I will (maybe).

Sunday, August 18, 2013

First Day of School 2013 & Asher goes to Kindergarten!

On August 13, 2013, all of our babies went to Elementary school. It was a big day!

Alivia started in the 4th grade with Ms. Allen as her teacher. Alivia was pleased with her teacher assignment. There are 3 fourth grade classes this year. Alivia knew just a couple girls in her class, but she did not seem to mind at all. On the first day, she wore a orange butterfly outfit and new pink shoes. She looked for cute shoes at a reasonable price on Zappos. So funny. Oh, and she wore contacts for the first time! We just got them the week before school and she was so excited. Alivia is so sensitive about having to wear glasses, so Chris caved. I'm still not sure about it, but so far it is working out.

Addison is in the 2nd grade with Ms. Erickson as her teacher. Ms. Erickson was Addison's teacher last year. Alivia had her for a 1st grade teacher followed by Addison now for 2 years. We love her. Addison asked to have her again. Addison is in a class with all new students, at least new to her. Although she was upset by this at first, she already made new friends, Avery and Megan. New friends are always good, right? There are 4!! second grade classes this year. Addison wore a purple butterfly dress and her new Keens from Zappos (and I think they were the most expensive shoe in her size!).

Now for Asher. It makes me sad just to write that he is in school now. Our baby Asher :) is now a big Kindergartener with Ms. McMains as his teacher. He has friends he already knows in his class, Henry, Cameron, and Will. So, at least Asher has some familiar faces. Asher had a difficult time deciding what to wear. He knew what shoes to wear, but he asked to be picked up and held as we looked for the perfect shirt to wear from Gymboree. Needless to say, we left the store without a shift and he selected a t-shirt from his closet.

Yesterday Chris worked from home so he could join me to walk them to school (last year he was in Florida). Asher selected an airplane t-shirt, navy blue shorts, new sneakers and his airplane backpack for his big day. We walked them up and got each of them placed in their grade line. All the other parents appeared to go in with their Kindergartener. But Asher, he said he could do it. I wanted to, but I didn't as I knew I would cry. Asher knew I was sad and did not need me balling down the hallway. :) And, Chris was nowhere in sight and was not going to go with me. Now, a day later, I wish I would have gone in and snapped a picture and then left.

The first morning went by quickly at home. I walked the dog, caught up on bills, went and grabbed subway for the kids for lunch and picked up pictures for Asher for a school project he had already (from open house). By then, it was 11:40 and time to pick them up. They said they had a good day. Asher may or may not have got left on the playground (really!?!) but he did not seem too upset by it.

Today, day 2, is a whole other story. I was alone when I said my goodbyes. Asher, again, did not want me to stay. There are SO MANY people everywhere it is overwhelming. There is not really a place to stand. I put Asher in line, gave him and hug and wondered, "Where do I go? Where do I stand? I need a hand to hold!" They all went inside without a problem. I walked home in tears.

Being a stay at home mom with kids was my life. I would not trade it for the world. But, now alone at home, I miss them. I miss Asher's hugs, his little conversations with me, cartoons on as background noise, giggles, play dates, laughter, tears and boo boos to kiss. Now, all of those things have to wait until 3pm each day. Time with the kids at home with me went by so fast, too fast!

So far, the dental assistant already asked, "Do you not work or anything or do you just have the day off?" on day 2 of the kids being in school. I almost went off on her saying my kids just went back to school yesterday! But, I didn't and said I work on call as a nurse at night (Well, I do!). Then, a friend of Addison's who works full time as a nurse asked me the same thing, "What do you do here all day without kids?!" Um, it was like she did not have a home. There is a ton to do! Mow the lawn, clean this freaking house, grocery shop, etc. And I DO WORK! I will figure out what I will do. It will come and I am not going to stress about it. For now, I am just going to catch up on all the things I let slide while I watched my babies grow up. 

And, I think I want to home school. :)

Sunday, August 04, 2013

Numbered Days

I have been a stay at home mom for 5 1/2 years, starting right after Asher was born. In a meer 10 days, all 3 of my babies will be in elementary school. It is an end of an era, one that I am not exactly ready to end.

When I started staying home, Alivia was 3 1/2, Addison 15m and Asher a baby. It is hard to believe they are all old enough to be in school. I will miss getting hugs all day long, playing with them all day long, going to the zoo, museums, etc, etc, all day long with them while they are in school. I am dreading sending them all to school.

I know Asher is ready. But, I am not.

I know I would never be ready.

I don't know what the next step is for me. I decided that I wanted to enjoy this time with them at home and not focus on what happens next until the time came. I still have a few more days until I really should give it some thought. Until then, I have some hugs to give all day long.

I'm off to soak up the summer sun with my 3 beautiful babies.

To the Lake AGAIN!

Last week, I loaded the kiddos in the van along with a few supplies and set off for a mini vacation to my parents lake home. Chris had taken a vacation the week before with his Dad to Estes park, leaving us at home. I wanted to go back to the lake that week, but my parents had guests at the lake (and they were not even there!). So, last week was better than nothing, making it our second trip yet this month.

The drive took 5 hr and 15 minute with one brief restroom stop. I amazed myself. I was about to jump out of my own skin after driving that far alone, but was happy I could do it without a navigator. Within minutes of our arrival, we were in the water. It was so warm compared to our visit earlier in the month. All the kids were jumping in the water, going down the slide and having a blast. My hesitation about going to the lake alone was gone. This is why I stay home!

While at the lake, we visited the Lake of the Ozarks Beach in Osage Beach where the kids played with 2 little girls their age for about 6 hours. They had a blast. The kids got comfortable swimming without their life jackets in the lake as I stayed just inside what they found to be deeper water to keep them at bay. It was a lot of fun. We spent a lot of time jumping off of my parents dock and just swimming around. We went out to Papa Chubbys for pizza one night and the kids swam on the beach there. On our last day there, last Friday, it rained most of the day. So, we loaded up and went shopping at the outlets, school shopping and ended (somehow) at the candy store. We love the candy store. :) After the rain, Asher climbed up Grandma and Grandpa's slide, laid down head first and face up and went down the slide! What a crazy, brave boy!

Last Saturday, we climbed in the van at 750am and make it home within 5 hours without stopping so Alivia could make a birthday party that afternoon. It was an amazingly fun trip that I would do again this week if I could. Shoot, what do we have going on this week, hummm...