Home Alone

The kids have been in school a week now.

It is quiet at home. WAY TOO QUIET.

It is just Pippa and I most days. I do not like Pippa (she STILL poops in our house at least once a week!).

I have kept busy, don't get me wrong, but it is not fun busy. I have been cleaning, trying to keep up on laundry, and trying to show Chris that I am not just sitting around all day eating bonbons. I have a list of to do's that I have been putting off for the day when our babies were all in school, that day I have been dreading for years. That day is now...so the list should probably be looked at. Things like restain the playset (I just did this a year ago spring and it looks like crap already!), restain the outdoor shutters, organize the kids rooms, touch up interior paint, etc, etc).

This week I worked Sunday, Monday and Tuesday nights (meaning I slept Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday until I had to wake to pick up the kids from school). Chris and I are adjusting to me not working weekends anymore and working strictly during the week. Chris, for the first time EVER (And Alivia is in the fourth grade), had to get the kids up and ready for school as well as get himself ready for work. I do not like not being the one to take them to school. I feel like I hardly see them. Chris said this morning he about had a heart attack getting everything and everyone ready to go (and then forgot about the dog and she pooped inside!). So, needless to say, we are all adjusting and not really liking it. We will get used to it as my new schedule is either Monday-Wednesday nights every other week and I will pick up one night MAYBE on the off week or Sunday-Tuesday night every other week. I'm scheduled for 6 shift a month right now (8 hour shifts) with an extra thrown in there for the time being. Chris is not going to be available to watch the kids in the morning times in about a month, so I probably won't be picking up too many extra shifts. We will see, though.

On the days I am not working, I try to stay busy and my mind focused on other things so I am not all tearful about missing them. I miss Asher mostly since he is the one that did everything with me last year. I am no longer going to the zoo or the children's museum. I am going to Target, but nobody is with me to ask if they can go to the Bakery for the free cookie. I go to Costco, but Asher is not there to get a hotdog or share a lemonade with me. There is no hand to hold as I walk away from taking the kids to school in the mornings, or give hugs to all day long. I tried to catch up on the photo book for 2012 (yep, I am that behind), but I was in tears so stopped. I was sobbing I missed the kids so much. In the book, Asher was not even in preschool yet. Where does the time go? I want to go back and hug him even more.

Writing this blog is giving me a huge lump in my throat!

It's quiet. Too quiet. I am not sure I want to adjust to this. But, with time, I am sure I will (maybe).