What I Learned in Florida

I may not have been in Florida long, but I learned a lot from my short stay. First of all, I was there for a visit, but also to see if I could live there if Chris got a job there. So, perhaps I observed more than most vacationers, but these things were all pretty obvious, even to me, which is not saying much. But anyway, here it goes.

* People in Florida use their horns more than they do they wheels (and I did not think that was possible).

* Clearly, running outside along the street is for the crazy and life risking people. The sidewalks are like paper thin and if you are not paper thin, u risk getting an arm ripped off by a Ferrari who thinks it is okay to go supersonic speeds in a 35mph zone. Are people in Florida sedentary, risk takers, or does everyone just run on the beach or treadmill? Just saying.

* The weather is so beautiful that I can see why older people flock there. Funny, I did not see many older people, so few that I really started looking for them without any luck! Perhaps older people do not hang out in naked bars (ha ha, there are a few of those in FL too...not that I visited them, but I did note them) or on the beach, or maybe, Florida just wants older people to flock there so they say that, or you never really get old if you live in Florida. Wait, that is it!

* Florida (or at least Tampa) streets are made really stupid. Come on, no turning lanes? 2 lanes with that kind of congestion? Who the hell thought of that?! We have 3-4 lanes in NEBRASKA and we have at least 1/2 as many people (but probably more elderly). Traffic lights are like a millisecond. So really, one has to speed like a bullet (perhaps explaining the Ferrari's actions in *2) to get through a stoplight. And, you will probably be stopped too many times to count because someone is turning left and there are not turning lanes unless at an intersection. Oh, come on people...check out the rock star roads in the state of Nebraska. And, we complain about them!

* And, last but not least, it clearly does not matter what you wear on the beach in Florida. There are mirrors in the state because there were at least 2 of them in the hotel room. I was chilling on the beach in Clearwater and just lifted my head to reposition in the sand. I gasped, out loud (so loud, in fact, that Chris looked up and gasped out loud too!), at the girl leaning over RIGHT in front of me in a flesh colored swimming suit. Ugh, it was not a pleasant sight. See, days later I am still gagging! Where are the pretty, fine looking people? I am no looker, but I know what NOT to wear on a beach in front of real people, at least in the daylight. I look as white as a ghost, but I remained clothed for most of the morning so I would not blind people with my whiteness. I just wished some on the beach would have been so kind as to cover their behind, or at least not stick it so close to my face. 

And, with all of this said, I would still move there. I know, crazy right? The weather is amazing! Nobody will argue with me that Nebraska has some crazy weather, 92 and then I have to run my furnace within days of one another. Chris keeps telling me how beautiful it is everyday as I am so cold cocoa does not seem to take the chill off.

But, our home is here, in the lovely state of Nebraska. So, I will continue to complain about potholes and love my turning lanes. 

The End.