Alone

I have always found myself to be quite independent. I have never wanted anyone's help, usually refusing it even when I really should have accepted it.

Now that I am truely alone most of the time (alone in the sense that I am the only adult around), I am struggling. I told Chris that I am going to have to find a reliable babysitter so I can break away occasionally. I can not be calling my parents (who come down all the time to help willingly. They are great!) all the time to help me. And really, my parents are lifesavers. I could not go to these adult only functions without them. I would be broke paying babysitters or I just would not go (honestly, I just would not go).

Chris is coming home tonight. This time, he will be home for a while, until January! Crazy, right? He is even taking some much needed vacation. I am craving time with him. I feel like all we do is cross paths anymore. He has no idea what goes on when he is gone as we only have time to say good night to him when we catch him at the end of the day. I have no idea what he does all day in Florida, Pennsylvania or wherever his job sends him on a given week. I seriously have hardly talked to him since he left on trip one right after Asher's party.

And, I work every other weekend. This weekend I am off, so next weekend I am either asleep or at work. So really, we only have one "downtime" weekend a month. Chris works 12 hour days with minimal time for anything buy his computer monitor. After months of this, I am hoping for some major change in 2013...like a new line of work perhaps. All these hours, the same pay he was getting before starting this nightmare position, I cut back my hours because he is not here to take care of the kids when I am working sometimes...and they tell him that he should be thankful that he has a job.

Wow, that sounds nice.

January may be a nightmare with the impending government cuts, and January his current contract in Florida is up. Hum, then what? Will they renew it?

So, I been bravely sending out resumes in hopes that someone will have a job come 2013. I can only hope, right? I am looking a few months sooner than anticipated, but I gotta do what I gotta do whether I am happy about it or not.

Alone or together, we will make this work. I just have to find how.

Now, to search for a new babysitter...