The Challenge

It all began last week. On Friday Chris emailed me regarding an opportunity to work out of Tampa, FL, for a while. Although it sounded like a great opportunity, I could see that there was great potential in that they would want him to work from Tampa, meaning move there. But, I am getting ahead of myself.

Someone in Florida at another location of Chris' current company heard about Chris and his magnificent abilities. Okay, those are my words. If someone in Florida heard about him and wanted him, I see that as only a good thing. Anyway, they wanted him to come down ASAP. After thinking about it, Chris accepted the challenge on Monday, 3 days ago. We knew he would be traveling to Florida for 2 weeks, we just did not know when.

Until yesterday.

Yesterday he emailed that he would be leaving this Sunday for his 2 weeks in Pennsylvania for a day or two, then in Florida for the rest of the time. He will be working for the same company he does here in Nebraska, but at the Tampa facility. He will also be working closely with the "clients" on MacDill AFB. He will be missing Easter at home with his family, and he will be away as he turns the big 4-0!

How am I going to surprise him with a jeep in the driveway when he is in Florida (Seriously, only kidding. There is not going to be a jeep, at least yet anyway).

Chris is already concerned about the potential for moving. With that said, all the cards have to fall perfectly for the to happen. First, Chris has to really, really, like this job and they have to really, really like him. Then, they have to put in a really, really, really good offer with paid relocation. And, we would all have to be up for the move. I am just not foreseeing this all happening. They are moving (bad choice of words perhaps) things along so fast now, however, that our heads are spinning.

First the job, then the quick travel, then talks of a move?! 

I know I have said I want to move someone warm...but Florida? The only thing I know about Florida is Bugs. Big gigantic bugs (cockroaches). With this said, I have only been there once for work and never saw a bug. So, clearly I have some homework to do.

So last night Chris and I went shopping for what turned out to be an entire new wardrobe. His workplace here is business casual and there are some business attire days while he is away. He needed a lot. He feels set now; just needs to pack it all.

I am not too worried about my time at home. I will miss running in the dark in the morning. I am looking into flights to Florida to help celebrate Chris' birthday. I do believe I will have to sell my kidney to go, but it is worth it. I know I would want him to come and visit me if I was away for my birthday.

So, we will see what all happens in the next few weeks. It looks like his base will be out of Tampa with frequent travel in the next few months at a  minimum. The last person who did this now lives in Tampa, and they keep comparing Chris to that situation. But, we are trying to take this all in, day by day, as it presents itself. Perhaps it will work out that he can work from home with frequent travel. We will take that, if we can. If he decides this job is too much or something, his boss here in Nebraska said she has projects coming in that she would love Chris' help on, meaning there is a job at home if and when he is ready for it. That is great news!

The kids are soaking in this information not really sure what to expect. They will get used to his travels just as they got used to my travels when I was away (but that was so long ago they do not even remember it!). Addison has took it all the hardest, clinging onto Daddy for dear life. Face time on the Ipads will help immensely, as they will get to see and talk to Daddy every night. How fun is that?!

Wish us luck. We are up for the challenge!

Asher, The Fish

Asher is into his third week of swimming lessons at Swim Barb. Asher loves it. He is so well behaved, listening to Ms. Barb, waiting quietly for his turn, and listening so good. He is such a good little boy that I have no worries about him going to preschool in the fall.

Swim Barb swim school is semi private, so he is in a class with one other girl and one other little boy. It is so nice!! We pay extra for this one on one attention, but it is so worth it in this case. The kids are set up for their annual swim camp in May, too. Then, they will be all set for summer at the pool.

Right now, Asher is learning to swim forward, back float with a kick, jump in and swim to the side, etc. He is working towards side breathing. He is picking it up really good. We hope to get to the YMCA and practice, too.

Here is Asher in action...

Asher with kids before his class and in his class.

Running in the Dark

With the weather getting back up to these beautiful, nice spring temperatures (in March no less!), I have started getting up before dawn to run. I started on my birthday or maybe a bit before then and have hardly missed a day.

You see, I sweat VERY LITTLE. Most of the time, I look the same before and after running the 4 1/2 miles I run daily. Seriously. When we were doing Insanity, I did not break a sweat most days. I was hot, it was vigorous, but I just did not sweat while Chris would be seriously drenched in sweat. Yes, I know, I am not normal.

Anyway, the point of me telling all of this leads me to the main reason I like to run in the predawn hours. It is beautiful, quiet, not as windy, and there is no sun to make me too hot. You see, if the sun in baring down on me, I get overheated quite quickly. I am known to run during daylight, but early morning daylight only. I love running in the morning because I am done and showered before the kids even get out of bed. I get my workout over with and I have not missed a beat.

With that said, I was half way done today when I was dreaming of going to bed tonight at 8:30 because I was so tired. I am a night owl, not an early riser. So, this getting up early stuff is for the birds (which are really neat to hear in the morning if I turn my ipod down). There are just a handful of people that I see out running in the mornings, but none every day. I try to change up my route a little, too, but usually see at least one person running and a dog walker or two. I am on the hunt for glow in the dark running clothes, but I am not entirely sure I want people to see me.

I used to be scared. But, with some many people typically out, it is not so bad. It is quite weird, however, that in this neighborhood, many street lights actually turn off as I approach them. What's up with that?!

I would like to be running 6 miles a day as I am now running the 4 1/2 miles in 36 minutes, which is about an 8 minute mile. That is pretty good for just running and not in training mode. However, I have extra time, so I would like to be getting in more active minutes. I am stuck within the borders of our neighborhood. So, I do not know how I can expand my mileage without expanding my borders. Maybe, someday when I run in the daylight, I will test out a new running route. But, in the dark, I just do not feel like doing that. Besides, I need to be back in time so Chris can head off to work.

It feels good to have my running shoes back on and be outside wearing them. Don't get me wrong, I am still going to Zumba, too, 3-4 times a week, because I am addicted to it. It is just too fun. There is Zumba and then there is running. I have to run. I have to Zumba.

Next, we are pushing ourselves to the next level...Insanity Asylum. Oh please...let me live through this regimen. We will start that maybe next week (maybe). I am scared to even think about it.

Playing with the Cousins

On Friday, Asher was invited to his Grandparents, who now live just a couple blocks away from us in our neighborhood, for a little play date with his cousins. Asher rarely sees his cousins, but he loves to play with them. So, this was a fun treat for him. Last month they went to Sac together, this time they went to a park and out to eat. It was a fun filled day for them. When we picked Asher up after picking up the girls from school, he was wiped and a bit ornery to say the least.

Meanwhile, I had a list of errands a mile long that I saved to do while Asher was away. Some I would have done with our without Asher, eventually. Some I may have never gotten around to doing. I needed sunglasses, Addison needed a new blanket for her bed, and Alivia and Asher needed little soccer shorts. I was able to check them all off my list. I even did a little shopping for myself. However, without a child there to rush me to make up my mind, I just could not decide. So, I left empty handed. I did get new sunglasses though, so I made some progress.

It is still an adjustment having Asher away. Next year, Asher will be in preschool on Tuesdays and Thursdays for such a brief period of time that I do not think I will have a problem keeping busy. I plan on running during that time, getting groceries and cleaning. If I just did those things, I would stay busy the entire time. It is when he goes to Kindergarten that I will be a mess. Just saying...

...back to enjoying him while I have him.

Ben, Henry and Asher

Soccer Kids, Maybe

Saturday was the first soccer game for Asher and Alivia. Of course, they were at different locations a half hour apart making it impossible to see both of them  play (big bummer!). Great way to throw us into soccer.

I will start with Asher. Chris, being Asher' team coach, took Asher. Asher's game was at our local YMCA, so it was close. This was Chris' first coaching experience. Chris did not know what to expect considering the players are 3 and 4 years old. He had higher expectations than these little kids could fulfill. Let's face it, 3 and 4 year olds do not have do not have a long attention spans, as Chris soon found out. With the help of a friend and his parents, he was able to pull it off. Asher was not aggressive at all. He got kicked once and was pretty much done after that. Asher now says he no longer wants to play. Great.

Alivia. Oh Alivia. She really did say she wanted to play soccer (and Addison said she did not want to play...so we did not sign her up). With that said, one would never know that from the way she acted at the game. First, I had to practically drag her onto the field  as she cried she did not want to play. Really? She is nearly 8 years old! Once out there, she warmed up. Okay, I said she warmed up, not that she really wanted to play. She kicked the ball once, maybe, and that was because the ball was kicked and hit her foot. Seriously. But, she did kick it away from her, so I guess that counts for something. She followed the ball nicely, but stayed a good 8 feet away from it. So, she needs time to feel comfortable playing. Her friend Gabby plays with her. Gabby is really good, outgoing, and somewhat aggressive. So, maybe Alivia will watch her and pick up some of her moves. We can only hope. There is always next week, right? There was about 40 minutes left of the game when Alivia first asked me if it was about over. She did finish the game and was thrilled that there were treats given out in the end. I hope she is not disappointed that I am bringing the treats this week. I believe I will sneak them to her coach so she believes he is handing them out. That makes him special. After all, I always feed her.

So, we are off, however slow. We are not in soccer to play to the death, thank goodness, we are just in it to learn if they like the sport. So far, it appears none of our kids have Chris good soccer genes. Maybe they will run far or fast like me. :)

Singing 2nd Grade

The kids before Alivia's program

Alivia had her second grade music program last week. It was based off of the Cat in the Hat and was super cute. Alivia sang her little heart out, along with her classmates. It was a lot of fun to watch. Her Grandparents even came for the show.

You Bought a WHAT?!

Looks like one big Mummy!

This is a long story. Just saying, so you are prepared.

Chris is the type of person that when he wants something, he obsesses over it until he gets it, or until you get so sick of hearing about it, you buy it for him. Huh, maybe that is what he will not be quiet about his wants (and this is why I bought him a motorcycle for his 30th birthday). But, I digress.

Anyone who knows Chris at all, knows he wants a Jeep, a kayak and an airplane. Okay, he is not obsessing over the airplane (at least at the moment), but we can not stop hearing about the jeep and the kayak.

So, one afternoon, Chris came home and eventually told me that he bought a kayak. Really, I should not have been surprised. He had been looking at them for a while, had received kayak accessories for presents, but to just go out and buy a kayak without talking it over with me first? Let's just say I was less than pleased with him. I realize Chris works hard for his money, but I work hard here for no money. I am the money manager, so everyone needs to consult with me before making a purchase over, let's say, $100. This kayak was like 8x breaking that rule. 

He returned it, on his own free will. But, he was not happy about.

He bought it back 5 days later, again, on his own free will. 

I called him to see why he was late coming home from work. He was not at work, he was buying a kayak.

I was speechless.

He saved his Christmas money and gifts of money he received for random things to cover most of it, so at least he did that. And, I realize I am just the wife, so who am I to say anything.

So, this morning, Asher and I stayed home waiting for this wonderful kayak to arrive. It arrived and is now parked in the garage. Looks good there. Would look better in the store, just saying. I am sure he will look good kayaking in Shadow Lake, if he finds the time, that is, between 3 kids, coaching soccer, taking care of 3 kids, taking care of one demanding and witchy wife, um, do I need to say more?

Chris says the kayak will look good on top of his jeep.

I see another blog post coming on...

Might as Well Jump

After a morning of hanging around for a kayak (an entirely other post), Asher and I met up with friends at our local Bounce U for some nice and dry bouncing, inside from the rain.

Asher and Will played well together, both a little timid in crowded areas, but they did well with each other. We may have saved them both from getting hit by the bat in the batting area and being pushed down the big slides, but it is all in an afternoon of fun while other schools are on spring break (this is your warning people, the older kids are out of school!).

Bounce U has some new bouncers offering hours of play. The boys had fun right up until we said it was time to pick up the girls from school.

Now, time to chill out. Asher is jumped out.

A Little Fluff

There are some areas (okay, there are MANY areas) of our home that needs a little fluff (Fluff is after local design firm in Omaha, Fluff Your Stuff, who is just amazing). After 2 1/2 years, I am finally getting motivated to get some of that fluff taken care of.

For starters, I have been using a carpet remnant as a rug by our garage door. Yes, that is what I have used for 2 1/2 years. I have looked, but I could not find something I liked.

Low and behold, I found this one at Kohls! Who knew! Guess I have to look outside my normal box for these kinds of things.

I like how the rug brings in the colors of the tile, the wall and the kitchen. I am content.

Next, I wanted a rug for in front of the sliding glass door to the backyard. I found this one at JCPenney (again, looking outside the box), and I just love it. I really pulls in the colors of the floor, the kitchen, the backsplash and the nearby walls of the family room. Love.

I love the modern feel of this one. Oh, and look at that green grass, in March! That is crazy! It is so nice to see colors, in and now out.

If only I could say I was done. Is your home ever really done?

All Alone

As next fall quickly approaches, so does my last year as a stay at home Mom. It is sad for me to say that for so many reasons.

First of all, our babies are growing up. I still miss Addison every day while she is away in school. I miss Alivia, too, but I have yet to adjust to Addison being away. The thought of Asher going to preschool in the fall makes me all teary eyed. But, it is reality, my babies are growing up. I guess that means I better, too.

So, what will I do?

Who knows?! I have my guesses, considerations, etc, but I am really not sure. I am thinking I will start off slow, going back part time as a nurse, perhaps, and gaining back my real nursing skills. I have not a lost of those real skills working as a psych nurse (IVs, etc). I also would like to get back into working with kids. I need to be available for the kids when they are sick and in the summer months, so perhaps I will slip back into my PRN (as needed) status during the summer months. I struggle with the nursing thing as I know that means I will miss most weekends and Holidays, work in drama filled environments (mostly the staff), and getting a day off is next to impossible. Really? I am not sure I am up for that anymore.

The other option is to get back into pharmaceuticals. This industry is really difficult to get into. I did have a successful working record prior to leaving my last job, so that may help. With that said, I have been out of the industry for 5 years. That will not help. The perks with this job were awesome. But, I would have to find care for the kids in the summer. The before and after school times would work as I could take the kids and Chris could pick them up. I would hate to miss out on the summers with them. I also had to travel a lot, which I hated (I love being at home with the family). Ugh...who knows what I will do.

Chris does not care what I do if I do anything. The idea of the chaos scares both of us. It is so nice to have our life as it is now. Chris does not have to worry about sick kids, doctors appointments, the laundry being done, the house being cleaned, the kids being care for - because I do that. If working, it would be up to both of us to get it done. Okay, reality check, it would probably still be up to me. But, I have told him things will be different if and when I return to work. I will be getting a cleaning person. That I will refuse to do on the weekends or on my days off (this is mostly if I am in pharma because if a nurse I could do this while the kids are in school).

Whatever happens, we will make it work. For the time being, I am leaning more towards the nursing thing, at least at first. The kids are only small once, and we can never get that time back with them. I would hate to miss any of it because I am at work, especially when I know I don't have to be financially. Whatever line of work I chose, I do not want to miss music programs because I have to work, or not be able to pick up my kids when they are sick at school, volunteer or eat lunch with them. I want to do those things while they still want me to. It will not be long, as I know how time flies, that our kids will think we are annoying. I am hoping that day will never come, but I know it will. Until then, I have to soak up all the time with them that I can, while they still believe that I am amazing.

The decision on what I will do once the kids are all in school is still uncertain. I have a year and a half to figure that out, too. No hurry...

When I Grow Up

Chris and were talking last week about what we thought the kids would do when they grew up. This is what we came up with.

At this point, Alivia wants to be a veterinarian. She loves animals (cats are her favorite), and we can see her being a small animal vet. Alivia wants to get married and have 3 babies.

Addison wants to be a veterinarian as well. She loves dogs (of course, opposite of her sister), to the point of being obsessed with them. We believe she will go to school and get her education, but we know her heart is in becoming a Mommy. We can see her being the Mommy of 4, staying at home like her Mommy, to raise her little kiddos. She will be an amazing Mommy.

Asher wants to be a firefighter or a pilot. He is growing up surrounded by airplanes with his Grandma and Daddy being a big influence, so we can see him taking that route. If he is still interested, we hope he gets his pilot's license on his 16th birthday! What a day that would be for him (and Daddy and Grandpa, right?!). Maybe Grandpa would even let him learn to fly in his plane.

Chris and I got to wondering what our parents thought we would be doing when we grew up. So, we asked. Chris' parents thought Chris would be an artist (since he is an amazing artist!) and were not sure he would go to college. Hah! He proved them wrong, going to college and getting his Master's Degree. My parents, on the other hand, did not really look into the future. They probably did not think I would ever make it to that point. Seriously. But, originally, I wanted to be a pediatrician. When that occupation appeared to be more than I wanted to do (and give up personally), I fell back on nursing. I never wanted to be a nurse, it just made the most sense with the credits I had from pre medicine. After a short time, I got into pharmaceuticals and going on to get my Master's. Now I stay home, obviously. My parents probably would never have predicted this for me, but I would not have, either.

I wonder how close we will get to our predictions. It does not really matter, but it will be fun for the kids to see what we were thinking, even when they were 7, 5 and 4. No matter what they end up doing, we just hope they will be happy.

Addison and her love for dogs, real or Fur Real

Alivia and Pippa

Designated Wingman Asher

The Power of the Play Date

Play dates.

I will admit, we love play dates.

For Asher, or the preschool aged kid, play dates are a way for Asher to make friends, learn how to relate and get along with others, all while in the presence of me, Mommy. I try to keep him active with those who may be in his Kindergarten class, around boys and girls his age with same morals, values, behaviors (are well behaved for the most part). Asher loves them. He is the only one left at home with me so play dates give him some much needed toddler interaction. Asher will occasionally have friends over without their mommy, but I only do this in short spurts as a way to help the mommy get a break while the boys play. It becomes more difficult when each kiddo has a play date and our home turns into a daycare center with 6 kids running around. I try to avoid theses situations unless I know I will have Chris' help, which is rare and unreliable. It is inevitable that while making chocolate chip cookies with 4 kiddos, Alivia and her friend will want me to paint their nails. Asher already has friends who I have found not ready to come over for longer than an hour. Funny, not every little boy is like Asher (who knew?!).

I will admit, I like play dates, too. After sometimes hours (and even days) of non adult interaction, it is nice to catch up with an adult and swap ideas. So...it is a win win. I found out about many things during a play date with what have become my and Asher's friends.

Addison used to have play dates with a little friend before she started kindergarten. On that first scary day of school, the 2 girls found comfort in knowing one another. Looking around and seeing a familiar face helped Addison adjust to kindergarten perhaps faster than she would have otherwise.

Alivia and Addi still have after school, weekend and summer play dates. Now that they are older, the friends usually come alone. But, I still like to meet my friend Stacy or other Mommy friends at the park with their  kids. We chat while attending to the kids and their sand castles. We do not let them run unattended or completely ignore them, but we do let them run. They are kids.

I find that play dates for Addi and Alivia help them to form closer friendships. And, they like them. At this point, I leave the play date activities up to them for the most part.

Perhaps if the kids were in childcare I would not see the importance of such things as play dates. Chris and I grew up on the shyer side, so it is even more important to strive for academic and social success for our kids.

After all, everyone needs a friend, right?

Asher and his friend (who is now in Kindergarten!) Elijah, at the park last week, on a play date after school.

The girls with one of Alivia's friends Sydney (whose mom, Stacy,  is MY friend now!).

We Have Shade!

Last year when we ate on our patio, we cooked. Yes, we cooked food, but we also physically cooked as we sat there sweating it out in the hot summer sun. So, we ordered sun shades.

This week in the 70 degree March weather, Chris installed them.

They look amazing, providing some relief from the sun, as well as a little privacy.

Thank you Sams Club. We love them!

Kids Day Off

Friday the girls had the day off of school. I typically love their days off of school, but lately I have just been feeling off, unmotivated, and not happy. I can't pinpoint why...just am. So, making the day off fun was proving to be a challenge for me, at least mentally.

We started with the forest. With the weather so mild, it was perfect for a nice hike. We took a map this time (yeah!) and the kids got some much needed exercise. We searched for signs of spring, and spotted a few flowers along the Hackberry Trail. The kids played at Acorn Acres before making their way to play some more downstairs at the forest.

Next...Lunch. Outside of the forest was packed with school kids. So, I thought I had an even better idea...a picnic at a park. Once at the park, the overcast skies and cool breeze proved to be a bit to chilly to eat. At least the idea was good I guess. Next, the kids selected a treat at Target before making our way home to play outside, almost all day.

They helped me wash the van, played in their jeep, took a walk, before having our traditional pizza for dinner.

It was a good, fun day afterall. I guess I still have it. :)

Lunch at Bell

Addison loves it when Asher and I eat lunch at school with her. Alivia likes it, too, but rarely requests it. So, when a friend asked us to go up to lunch today, I could not say no.

Here are some snaps from lunch. It is fun to catch up with the girls mid day in their element. I feel so lucky to be able to eat with them, whenever, and in this case, wherever.

Marching into the Zoo

Now THAT is Love!

Yesterday Asher and I hit the zoo to enjoy the beautiful March weather we are having. We invited our friends Bonnie, Xander, and baby Ben to enjoy the day with us.

The boys led the way, seeing the animals outside. Eventually they made their way to the playset, narrowly missing injuries. It was nice to be able to enjoy some fresh air while taking in the sights of all the animals. Asher just liked being able to play with Xander.

After 20 times of asking, we finally caved and had lunch. The boys thought it was lunch at 9:30! We had lunch outside, in March! Crazy.

We took in the Sharks in 3D before calling it a day.

Love the zoo. We could go every day and never see the same thing twice.

It's Official, I'm a Soccer Mom

Funny, I never thought I would say that, at least before I had kids. Chris was really into soccer, starting from a very young age, and he was a good player from what I hear. But, he got burnt out. Someone he used to play with is now a coach in the pros (or is he playing in the pros? Whatever, he is in the pros). Anyway, Chris was on elite teams and stuff (like the and stuff?), so one of our kids had to take up the sport right?

Alivia and Asher are signed up to start soccer at our local YMCA in a couple weeks. Asher wanted to play; Alivia we heavily encouraged her participation (she does not want to do any sport). In preparation for that, Alivia went to a soccer camp on Saturday to help her learn the fundamentals. It was instructed, in part, by one of Chris's previous coaches who is now a coach at UNO. Chris was thrilled to be able to see him again and have Alivia learn from someone that taught him.

Alivia was dragging her soccer shoes a bit, not wanting to go, yelling at me for signing her up in the first place. I guess sometimes you have to drag kids practically kicking and screaming. As it turns out, the girl loved it! She came home raving about how good she is, how much she learned, etc. Chris said she did take a liking to the sport, so that is a good thing. Alivia has never wanted to go out for anything. We stopped signing her up for stuff as she usually just sat it out crying, so it really was not worth it. It appears we just did not find something she liked.

So, we are now soccer parents and I am now a soccer Mom. Oh, please help me...:)

I guess that means I am going to have to learn the rules, huh?!

Insanity Take 2 COMPLETE!

Today was our final day of Insanity. Chris actually just finished up his final workout, while I did mine this morning after my run, before anyone was out of bed (yes, I am insane) before going to Mass.

The results.

I would recommend the Insanity workout for anyone who is trying to kick their butt back into shape. That being said, we were in shape, or at least we thought we were, when we started. I ran almost daily and Chris did weights and ran. But, Insanity worked different parts of the body, like all of them. It is always good to mix up an old routine. And, we loved the challenge of Insanity.

On the second take, unlike the first time round, we did not break any bones. Yeah...that is progress! It was still grueling, but we knew what to expect. We also did the expanded workouts, like Max Insane Abs and the Interval Sports Training (which was 55 minutes of pure love and torture. I thought this one was fun, in an insane sort of way). We can see differences in our bodies, although minor.

I would say we both feel leaner. I actually have some upper body strength where I had none to little prior to these workouts. Chris finds his chest and back areas more defined but yet lean.

Weight wise, I am not weighing myself this time. I feel good and that is all that matters I guess. The weight is just a number on the scale. It should be higher since I have muscle mass that was not there 9 weeks ago.

This time around, Chris ran a little during the lower impact first 4 weeks and during the one week of recovery before the real insane workouts started. He maybe only ran a little during the last 4 weeks. I ran hit and miss during it all, plus went to zumba. I can not seem to give up running. Running is a means to get out on my own and I am free. Insanity is in the house...so it is just different.

Now what? We are looking into our next workout challenge. But, in the mean time, we are going back to running. I am going to do the Insanity Abs workout maybe a few times a week, too, maybe, and maybe do that crazy sports training one every once in a while. Of course, I will continue running and going to Zumba for fun. Chris has his eye on the next workout, but that is at least a couple weeks off. We just want to get out and run in this beautiful weather we are going to have in the upcoming weeks.

Chris is not up for a picture for the after yet...but here is one that I an brave enough to share  My headless body...(sorry, the mirror was tilted down. This is the best I could do, and I like the headless look anyway. :) ).

Ha Ha, LOL

Chris always gives me a funny card for my birthday. Anyone who knows me knows that I am a germaphobe, and I do not like the dog sitting anywhere, especially where I lay my head. Enough said. Here was this card:

Card Shoebox by Hallmark:
"IF YOU EVER THOUGHT TOO MUCH ABOUT ALL THE PLACES IN YOUR HOME YOUR PET HAS TOUCHED WITH HIS NAKED BUTT, YOU'D HAVE TO MOVE."

INSIDE:
"HOPE YOU FIND A NICE PLACE TO EAT YOUR CAKE.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

Yeah, leave it to Chris to find THIS card!